Sorry about the last entry being so such the last time. I had to rush it out before running out to work. Still have to rush off to work but wanted to write a decent post before going to work today. I wanted to leave something decent to read before getting on with my day. I think I need to make it clear that this is an adult blog (as if one hasn't figured that out yet-LMAO). It's because the topics I ponder are adult topics but that doesn't mean that it will be all about sex. Just figured it would be safer if I turned around and put that warning on here before going any deeper into it all. Now with that said on to what I actually wanted to write.
I have a fear that I might be on the edge of a burn out. I catch myself getting short tempered with others on a regular bases. When I am at work I catch myself day dreaming about walking out the door and down the street. Just keep walking until I get tired. Just walking down the interstate. No place in mind. Just somewhere that is not here.
Understand I would never do such a thing. I know that I have a family, two jobs, and friends who would be concerned if I left. I know it would be pure hell for everyone if I acted on such impulse. It isn't the adult thing to do. Running away from one's inner demons. Besides I know they don't disappear just because of the fact that the background changes. But it's a nice thought all the same.
To leave all my problems behind. To become another person. To have another life. To for a little while escape from the weight that is laid on my shoulders. To be able to breathe a deep breath. To be able just be me for a moment.
I know that some might think bad of me. Might think of me as one who is just looking for an easy way out in life. I know that there are others. Maybe even the ones who verbally judge me a little harsh when around others who know exactly what I am feeling. Know exactly why I sometimes wish I could push the waves of despair off my chest from time to time.
Don't worry. Tomorrow is another day and I am sure the feeling will go away. It always does. Sometimes I can't help but wish I were somewhere else. That I could just jump on the greyhound bus and escape the issues that haunt me from time to time. To be anywhere else but here.
